Woot! This Year is Ending!

Okay, I’m actually not as thrilled as this title suggest. My mood is fairly low, and I feel somewhat battered from recent events in my life (illness in the family). And I’m impatient for my nephew to be born (in which case, if I‘m impatient, think how my pregnant sister feels!). Soon. But yes, this has been a pretty awful year, and I am going to hope that I start the next one on the right foot.

And yes, I’m going to start talking about Pluto again. It’s funny to realize that Pluto is in my 7th house (Relationships), making a square to my natal Sun in the 10 (Career). But I think this transit makes the concept of derived houses pretty significant…because the 7th house is the 5th (Children) from the 3rd (Siblings)…my sister is having a child, you see. And…my Sun rules my third house, so that fits too. So…when Pluto makes the exact final transit to my Sun two days from now, maybe that’s when he will be born. Pluto is connected to birth, as much as he is connected to endings and transformation.

As for my work with the Tarot, I’ve been a Free Reader at Biddy Tarot for some time now, and while I’ve only been averaging a reading per week, it’s a huge learning experience. And it hasn’t changed my decision to read professionally someday. So that’s good. Though…learning about creating and running an online business is going to be especially challenging, for someone who has no experience in the matter. A goal for 2014.

Here’s to a wonderful new year, with none of the mistakes I made in 2013 (oh, sure, there will be new ones…but please let me not make the same ones again!). And no more major Pluto transits for me till…2022 (Pluto square natal Venus). 🙂

UPDATE (only 30 or so minutes after I posted this): OMG. My sister is in labor. I’m gonna be an aunt soon!

They were right about the career…

I am going to go professional. A Tarot reader. A Tarot consultant. Whatever. I’m working this out as I go along.

So…I’ve been talking about these Pluto and Uranus transits and how their energy is manifesting in my life, yeah? I’ve said that they’re making transits to my Sun, my creative center, my sense of identity. My Sun is in the tenth house, the house of public identity and career. Well…once Pluto turned direct, on September 20, I found out, in the most Plutonian way possible, that this is what I want to do.

I didn’t realize until rather recently that I’ve been living a life based on fear. I always made choices out of fear of rejection, failure, and scarcity of time and resources. It’s now time to make choices based on love and the belief that I am going to make it happen. And let this be a way to keep my word.

Why the Tarot? 🙂 I’ve been at this for about ten years now. The friends I’ve done readings for think I’m good. I’ve done readings for strangers and they seemed to be pleased with my work. Hell, I’ve even impressed my therapist (I showed him how I did a reading about my relationship with him). I’m going to sign up shortly to do free readings on Biddy Tarot to hone my skills and get more experience (just waiting for some good astrological timing).

Yes, I think I’m good too.

So…yeah, this is the start of something big for me. And while I’m not exactly thrilled about learning how to start (and hopefully eventually maintain) a business, I’m just going to have to remember that I’ll be doing something I love. Living a life based on love and not fear.

Final Transits of Saturn to natal Pluto

Okay, I didn’t think I was going to come back. And honestly, yes, I do think that I’m going to eventually give up blogging exclusively about astrology (because, well, I don’t think I can. I keep ending up blogging about something else, like music). But I had to point out a recent discovery.

Final transits. A slow moving planet often makes three transits to a natal point (sometimes as many as five). I’ve read a bunch of opinions on the subject as to which transit is the most important (Donna Cunningham comes to mind – I love her books and articles, and I refer to them frequently).

Some say it’s the first transit. Some say it’s the last transit. Almost nobody says all that much about the middle transit, and in my experience, well, yeah. I haven’t come to any major conclusions during the middle transit of Pluto-square-natal-Sun or Saturn-conjunct-natal-Pluto. But in my recent completion of my Saturn-conjunct-natal-Pluto transit (this happened last week), I would say that the last transit had the biggest impact, and for good reason. I’ll explain.

My first transit happened a little less than a year ago, and with the transit I realized that I was not living up to my potential because I have a lot of limiting beliefs. I knew that I didn’t think I was smart enough, strong enough, a whole bunch of ‘not-enoughs.’ And I realized it wasn’t really because I was lacking in qualities, but because I didn’t believe in myself. So I embarked on a project to “Destroy My Limiting Beliefs.” Yes. Seriously. This is what I called it. I proceeded to sift through old journals, delve into the past, see what I could dig up.

It was a few weeks before my second transit that I started seeing a therapist to figure out what was going on (and I really am indebted to the friend who suggested this to me, though I think she was more concerned about my mental health…and to be fair, so was I). My private attempts were not getting me anywhere – I was too close to the situation to see what was going on.

3+ months later, after what I feel was a psychologically-hellish summer, I realize, with the help of my therapist, that almost all of my limiting beliefs comes down to family (and culture, to some degree). Most of them implanted between the ages of ten and seventeen. And now I function as if they are true, as if I really am not good enough. The realization hit home at the last transit of Saturn to Pluto, and honestly, I don’t remember any other time in my life I was as full of rage. Eventually the rage will calm down (and it had better, because it’s sapping a lot of my energy), but I now have to make a decision to emotionally break away from my past and roots if I ever want to reach my full capability as the intelligent, ambitious human being that I am.

It’s been rough. But I think I’m on the right path now.

And to come back to the original question – which transit is the most important? For this particular case, they all are. They’re part of a process…but I think I might always remember the last transit as the one that changed my life for good.

Goodbye.

The days of this blog are numbered.

Interestingly enough, when I created the blog, the Moon was void of course. Tradition states that one must never launch a project under a void of course Moon (VOC Moon for short), since it is highly unlikely for that project to go anywhere. I had overlooked this at the time, and when I realized that there was a VOC Moon for the moment I activated the blog, I thought, “well, we’ll see how this goes.”

I can’t do it anymore. By no means have I lost my interest in Astrology – I’ve probably read more books on the subject this year than in any other – and, moreover, I’ve started combining my astrological studies with my ten-year-long experience with Tarot cards (okay, it’s been rather on and off these ten years). But there’s no getting away from the fact that my interest in Astrology (and Tarot, for that matter) is deeply personal. I use it primarily as a self-development tool, and should I ever do readings for anyone other than myself, I would use this self-development/counseling approach.

It’s personal. I can’t count how many times I have thought, these past several months, “I could totally connect astrology to my life right now…but this is way too personal to write about. Way too painful.” Even if I could write about these things (for example, if the events didn’t directly involve someone else), it hurts way too much to write coherently. And I like my Macbook Air way too much to ruin the circuitry with a river of tears.

That said, I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to do with this blog. Should I delete it? Leave it lying around? I don’t know. I’ll figure this out eventually.

For those of you who have been reading, it means a lot to me. I love writing, and hopefully I’ll be doing it again (I just need to find a more manageable topic!!). Until then…goodbye and my best wishes to you.

Aparna

Half of 2013…done!

I’m sick of inserting random photos that have absolutely no relevance to the subject matter. At least this time. So I’m skipping it.

Does anyone else feel a certain sense of joy that half the year is over? Of course, this is probably not terribly comforting if a person senses that their (I’m working on using ‘they’ as a singular pronoun…I honestly wish that English, like many other languages, had gender-neutral pronouns) challenges aren’t going to end simply because of the way we count time. And challenges don’t end. Period.

I actually had a couple of ideas about what to write about. One is a book I’m reading: Planets in Therapy: Predictive Technique and the Art of Counseling by Greg Bogart. And the other is about Out-of-Bounds Moons, a good description of which is found in this article by Steven Forrest (and, of course, I find it particularly interesting because I’ve got one of these). And in the end, I’ve decided that I’m not posting about anything in particular today. Just that…I’m so glad half the year is over. As irrational as it is, I’m just glad.

Happy July. 🙂 Best wishes for the rest of 2013.

“Once, Once, But Not Anymore”

“I know we’re not where I promised you we’d be by now
But maybe it’s a question of who’d want it anyhow?”

                                                         “The Rain” – The Swell Season

The Swell Season changed my life. Okay, that’s not really accurate. My life had already been changing. But they revisited me right when I needed them the most.

 

I know I’m not the only one around who discovers a song, feels connected to it somehow (or is obsessed with it), and then proceeds to listen to it in repeat. Yeah, that’s why some of the songs on my iTunes gets 200+ plays within mere weeks. In fact I could even figure out where I was in my journey by checking out what song I was obsessed about at the time. In fact, it goes something like this:

 

January: “Yellow” by Coldplay

February: “The Scientist” by Coldplay

March: “Secrets” by OneRepublic

 

April. Pluto went retrograde on Friday, April 12. That day I went on my artist date (for those of you who don’t know, this is part of creativity program called The Artist’s Way, created by Julia Cameron – I had started working on this in the beginning of March), which consisted of a morning wandering around downtown, and eventually winding up at a sheet music store that I had been to before. I’m not that far along in music, so I headed straight for the easy piano section. Right at the front was Easy Piano Selections from Once.

 

Now…I’d never seen Once. However, three years ago I’d gone to an open-air concert where Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova performed as The Swell Season. I knew nothing about them – I went with a close friend who was a fan. Here at the store, I remember I enjoyed the music, and I thought, ok…let’s get this.

 

“Falling Slowly” won an Oscar in 2008 for Best Original Song. I actually didn’t know this until I came back home and looked it up. And I started teaching myself this piece. The next day, I had my Venus Return. Pluto had just turned retrograde. I had plans to spend the day with a friend, and as luck would have it, he was a Glen Hansard fan, which I didn’t even know until that morning. That’s when I watched Once for the first time.

 

I learned how to play “Falling Slowly” within a week. And “The Hill” soon after that.

I kept on discovering new songs. The work of these singers-songwriters were beyond anything I’d encountered. Glen Hansard’s raw emotion. Marketa Irglova’s quiet determination. “The Rain” was my turning point. Around that time I went to my best friend’s public defense of her dissertation…and realized that my entire life I had prepared myself for getting into academia, but that dream no longer applied to me. I had changed, and I needed new goals and dreams to work towards. That quote at the beginning of the post? Yeah, I know this song is from a ‘break-up’ album. But this was a break-up for me – with my former self. “I know we’re not where I promised you we’d be by now” – I wasn’t in school. But, hell, did I want to be? I voluntarily gave it up a year ago. There we go.

 

New dreams. New goals. That brings to mind a conversation I had a few weeks ago, with a coworker:

Me: You know, as soon as I’m back from this trip [which, at the time of writing this blog post, starts tomorrow, and I’m procrastinating on packing by writing this], I’m thinking of getting seriously back to piano lessons.

Bored coworker: Great. Good for you.

Me: I’m also kinda thinking about voice lessons too. Don’t know if I can afford both of these things, but I would like to be able to sing. It might also help me write songs and stuff someday.

Coworker: Yeah. Go for it.

Me: You know what? I really want to learn how to play the guitar too! Maybe I can work on that one by myself.

Coworker: Uh-huh.

Me: And dude, I’ve always wanted to play the drums!

Coworker:…

Me: You know, I think I want to play in a band someday.

Coworker: Aparna. No. You don’t want to play in a band. You want to BE the band.

 

 

Well, I still want to play in a band and write music someday. How’s that for a new goal?

 

Progressed Lunar Returns…along with everything else.

So. Yeah, I think I’ve come to the point where I’ve realized that, nope, becoming a professional astrologer is not going to be my thing. 🙂 It’s a good discovery to make. I’ll probably still keep this blog around, just to make sense of progressions, transits, and whatever in my life – and if anyone else is reading, here’s some stuff that may help the interpretation process. I always find it helpful to know what’s going on in other people’s lives to understand astrological phenomena.

I still love learning about this stuff. Astrology, if anything, is an amazing tool for self-development, whether you’re trying to analyze yourself from your natal chart, figure out where you’re going in life (secondary progressions and solar arc directions), or you want to be prepared for the near future (transits, lunations, and planetary returns). And if you want to figure out how different people work together, there’s synastry. Am I missing anything? Probably. 🙂 That’s cool though – so much to explore!

 

Progressed Lunar Returns…that’s what I was getting at. So I’m not getting into what secondary progressions are (there are many awesome sites and books that describe this sort of thing –  and in fact, here is an awesome article on the subject of Progressed Lunar Returns and Saturn Returns:), but let it be enough to say that the Progressed Lunar Return happens for everyone at around 28, 56 and if one is particularly lucky, maybe, around 84. It could be sooner or later, depending on how fast the Moon is moving in the days after one’s birth. The Saturn Return follows the Progressed Lunar Return, usually a year or two afterward when one is younger, a few years apart as people grow older.

I’m about to have my Progressed Lunar Return, along with everyone else around my age (27). It’s a pretty important time, regardless of other astrological stuff going on – though if there are major things happening, a complete overhaul of one’s inner life can be expected. And that’s what I’m seeing in mine. The thing I want to get at is that, at 27, I think what happens is that you start figuring out who you are. By the time the Saturn Return rolls around, in a year or two, you start figuring out how to work with your outer circumstances. That…is what I’m getting from all the reading on the subject, at least about the Saturn Return.

In the past few months, I’ve been hit with a Pluto transit to my Sun (the second is in a week or so, and the last in December), a Uranus transit also to my Sun (two more of those coming up), some pretty heavy eclipses and lunations, and important progressions. And now this, the Progressed Lunar Return. I feel like I’m encountering the Shadow side of my personality (a very Plutonian thing to happen) and learning to accept it as it is. And I also now have a therapist to help me with this – yeah, I read somewhere that therapy is a good idea during a Pluto transit. Best. Decision. Ever. My therapist even has some knowledge of astrology – he knows what I mean when I talk about houses!

I don’t think I’ve ever gone through anything like this. A time when I am actively trying to find out who I am…and being cool with whatever I find out. And sure, there’s plenty of crap to work through, but can you imagine the sense of relief when you realize that you are who you are, and that you don’t need to fight it? It’s AMAZING.

I think this is the Progressed Lunar Return at work. And when my Saturn Return rolls around, two and a half years from now, I want to see where I am, with this newly accepted self. I know it won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.

Pluto: Getting Through It All

I know. I haven’t posted anything in about over four months. Can I just put it out there that this Pluto (and Uranus) transit is kicking my butt? And since this is, yes, an astrology blog, I’ll probably talk a little bit about it, though it’s impossible to go into any great detail.So…one Pluto transit down (which happened in early February – square my Sun), two more to go – and three Uranus transits (conjunct my Sun) coming up, one of them exact early next week. This year is going to be…tough. It already is.

First off: the depression. Given that Pluto is the planet of…what was it, destruction and transformation? Yes – it looks like I’m in the breakdown phase. I feel like the destruction phase is going on, sort of making things worse so that I can let go of the things I need to get into a better place. The past year or two, I’d been slowly getting more and more dissatisfied with my life – and it took me the past month for it to come to a point where I realize, “Oh. This really isn’t working for me.”

Add to that the pretty bad acne breakout I’ve had the past two months (and about last week, I started calling Facebook ‘Fakebook’, because as far as I’m concerned, I always have what I feel like is a fake appearance in the photos that are put up – big smiles and a lot of concealer…none of it real).

And a couple of other things I can’t get to here, because they’re more personal, and involve others. But things I need to let go – or need to change if they stay. I imagine that as the other two Pluto transits happen, the (emotional) pain will increase so much that it won’t make sense to have these things active in my life anymore.

But that’s Pluto. For me, it seems to be making things suck so much that at some point I’ll fall so low that I will finally come to my senses and let things go once and for all. Or figure out a way to change things.

Uranus conjuncts my Sun for the first time early next week though, and that is going to be easier energy to handle. I have a fairly strong Uranus and Neptune signature in my natal chart, while Pluto is not as significant – this probably means that that the Pluto effect is harder to handle for me. I can’t wait. Uranus gives one the ‘breaking away’ energy, and that’s just what I need! This post (as rambling and unclear as it is) is a start, as well as the creativity project I’m working on (more about that some other time). I’m going to get through this!

2013 Resolutions? Nope.

Happy Holidays! 🙂 I hope everyone is enjoying them.

Every year around this time, I think about my resolutions for the following year, and come up with a list of them. Almost needless to say, I tend not to get around to most of them. For example, it looks like the first one on last year’s list was “Drink at least 8 glasses of water daily.” And then there was the very unspecific “Spend less money.” The former…doesn’t seem to have happened, though I think I drink a little more water than I used. The latter – well, I came up with an elaborate plan to work on saving and spending…and I’ve all but abandoned it. 

Then yesterday, I cam across an article published on one of my favorite personal development websites, Think Simple Now. I’ve decided that, as they suggested, to have a one-word theme for the new year, rather than create a bunch of resolutions I’m not going to stick to. This is where the astrology comes in.

I mentioned Solar Returns in a previous post. Solar Returns tend to be great for finding out themes for the current year – though they tend to be a little less helpful with the timing of events (transits and progressions tend to be much better with timing). However, since my interest in astrology leans towards to use of astrology to make things better and to develop one’s self, I tend to place a lot of attention on the Returns. They have not failed me so far. For example, I knew that this past year was going to be tough: there was a very tight Pluto-Sun-Moon t-square connecting the 4th, 8th and 10th houses, which indicated deep, emotional changes, particularly in the area of home and career. It was tough, but I actually think I did a better job getting through it than if I weren’t prepared for it. If I had a one-word theme for the year, it was probably “persevere”!

In my March 2013 Solar Return, I find a major focus on the fifth house, the area of life that involves creativity, romance, children, and particularly self-expression. I have four  planets crowding into this place: the Sun (which always emphasizes the house it falls in as a major area of development that year), Venus, Mars and Uranus, and all of these separated by only a few degrees. Whenever there are three or more planets (some astrologers say four or more) are close together like this in a particular house (and sometimes in the same sign), they are called a stellium.

A stellium of planets in Aries (a sign all about the self) in the fifth house. Also, the Solar Return Moon is in the first house, indicating that this is a year where I may be more comfortable showing my emotions rather than keeping them hidden. Why not?

Self-Expression is my theme for 2013. In the past year, I’ve noticed how important it is to accept myself as I am. This upcoming year, it is my goal to express it, because I’ve also realized, from this past year, that silence is deafening. When I don’t truly tell myself and others what I need or what I’m going through, my mind becomes clouded with insecurities and doubts. When I am silent outwardly, my mind gets noisy and unmanageable. I suppose there may be a fine line between self-expression and self-gratification, but I am going to work on keeping a balance, and not go too overboard.

🙂 Comments are welcome. I’m also in the process of creating a new email address that I’m willing to put out here, if anyone has private requests for checking up on their charts. At the moment, while I’m learning, and not quite near professional status (though I eventually intend to get there), my services are free.

Outer Planet Transits for 2013

Given that I’m particularly interested in natal astrology (all about birth charts and astrology at the personal level) and predictive astrology, I thought I’d give a (very) brief overview of what some of us may experience in the upcoming year. I’m looking at the outer planet transits – basically, the movements of the planets that are furthest away from the Earth, and appear to move more slowly than the rest of them. These are Uranus, Neptune and Pluto (which is no longer considered a planet according to science today, oh well).

In 2013, Uranus will be moving between 4 and 12 degrees Aries, Neptune between 1 and 5 degrees Pisces, and Pluto between 9 and 11 degrees Capricorn.

When we consider the birth position of the Sun, the people who have the following birthdays will be most impacted by these movements.

People born March 24 – April 4, June 25 – July 4, September 26 – October 5, and December 26 – January 3 will probably experience some rapid changes in their lives. They may be inspired to act in ways they previously never have, or they may encounter an influx of energy coming, it seems, out of nowhere. Uranus is known for this sort of thing.

People born February 19 – 24, May 21 – 26, August 23 – 28, and November 23 -28 may experience a state of heightened intuition, dreaminess, or creative ability, and on the downside, may have to deal with some confusion, and take care not to fall into a state of depression or substance abuse. Neptune is making his presence felt.

Those born March 20 – April 4, June 30 – July 4, October 1 – 5, and December 30 – January 3 will be feeling the Pluto’s presence, and may find themselves in a state of transformation. They may come across the meaning of personal power and what it means to use it. Incidentally, you might notice that these people are also going to feel the Uranus transit pretty strongly – it’s a very big year for you guys (I’m also one of you – my birthday is March 31).

The above descriptions are given for people who have their natal Sun in places where they may be affected by the movement of these planets. You may, however, have another planet in one of these areas, and may feel something similar.

The descriptions are pretty short, and pretty much serve as a starting point for further investigation. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment, and I might be able to tell you more. 🙂